I Almost Do
by Amanda-Hargitay
Summary: It's been a year since Elliot left and Olivia doesn't want to get close to anyone that is until a certain blue eyed man walks back into her life
1. It can't be him

So this is my first story to actually share and i'm not sure what I want to get from this story but i'll continue if anyone likes it

Olivia's pov

She hadn't realized how hard it would be when he left her. She wasn't supposed to be dependent on anyone… that included him. Now she knows that can't happen again. That's why she's so distant with the new detectives she doesn't want to be close with anyone like that ever again. Everyone knows that she didn't deserve to be treated like that from anyone much less Elliot Stabler. They all know she's missing her other half and their just waiting for her to give up too. For some reason that no one not even Olivia herself can explain she feels obligated to continue the job he give up on. How could she not want to finish what they started together even if he isn't there beside her.

Last time she heard anyone say that name out loud was a year ago to the day. Everyone around her was scared how she would react if they talked about it. That's why she was surprised when she heard Amaro ask about him that morning on the way to a new crime scene. She hasn't forgot what he said to her and doesn't think she can. They stung her like a bee and she froze for a little till she found the courage to answer. She remembers the hole conversation like it was happening right in front of her at the movies or on her TV.

_" So I've been hearing a lot of stuff lately about your old partner Stabler and well I was wondering what was it like to work with Mr. Hot Head as everyone describes him"_

_"Um… Stabler is… I mean was a great partner to have in this line of work Amaro" She hadn't realized how hard it was to say him name until then or even verbalize that he wasn't her partner anymore._

_"It's Nick my names Nick not just Amaro you can call me by my first name you know that right" __**Damn**__ she thought why does he have to be called by his first name that's when she gets attached is when she starts using first names and she knows this._

_"I… I know I'm just not ready for that I guess and I'm sorry for that I really am Amaro but you have to understand that I can't… I can't" __**Why does this have to be so hard ugh this is what makes me mad at Elliot he isn't even here and he's still making my life complicated**_

_"You can't what Liv what can't bad-ass Benson do" __**He's being way to nice to me I don't really like where this conversation is going I need to end this NOW**_

_"First off AMARO do not call me Liv okay. Secondly I don't think you would understand what I can't explain just yet when and if I'm ever ready ill come talk to you got it" _

_"Got it"_

Come on Olivia get yourself together there's a victim out there that probably needs your full attention right this second… then she hears it his voice. She can smell his cologne as he gets closer she can hear his breathing ringing in her ears. Before she even notices what's going on she blacks out and falls to ground face first…


	2. How about some coffee

Elliot's pov

It's been a whole year since I've been in this building. A whole year since I've talked to anyone from my old squad. One whole year and the only time he ever saw her was in pictures and occasionally on the news for a case. He knew that it might hurt her if he left but the pain, the sorrow, and the worry got the best of him and he just had to get out.

One foot in front of the other he thinks as he gets farther into the building almost to the elevator he used to be familiar with. One more step and he'll be half way there. He's so close to her but in his mind he's as far away as he has ever been. He knows that she'll probably beat the living daylights out of him but its worth it… anything for her is worth it. All he has to do now is push the all too familiar button and he'll be one third of the way there.

He knows that even making this far into the 1-6 is a giant step for his recovery process and being on her floor is what will get him threw the next couple of days. He is so close now that he can smell the coffee that more than likely Munch has made. He can hear Fin laughing at someone he doesn't recognize. Then with on turn to his right he sees her. Her hair has gotten longer and her curves have gotten fuller in a great way he thinks. That's when he sees someone who he guesses is her _new_ partner.

He looks around and notices that everyone but her is staring at him so he decides to go with his voice and ever so slightly says her name out loud. "Olivia" it's just a small whisper but he knows she heard him cause she turns around and her chair just in time for him to see her close her eyes and fall to the floor face first. That's when he takes off running to her side moments before her new partner can get to him

"Oh my god Olivia, Liv come on Olivia wake up… Let me see those beautiful brown eyes of yours. That's right Liv open em up and look at me" He is almost begging now on his knees with her hair in his lap. He looks away for a second as a tear slips down his cheek onto her face. He sees them he sees those big brown chocolate eyes look up at him and he can see that she is scared and relived at the same time.

"Elliot… El" He can barely hear her whisper as she starts to fully wake up and he can't help but smile at the way she mumbles his name. She opens her eyes completely and then sees something he didn't expect from her so soon…He sees her beautiful smile that is for him and only him. He knows that few people have actual seen Olivia Benson give a genuine smile.

"Hey there Olivia… you know it's been to long since I've seen such a gorgeous smile" He figures he'll see just what she'll allow him to do including his sweet talk.

"You know this conversation might be better off of this cold ground with me in _my_ chair and you sitting across from me like old time Elliot" **That's a good start right? Her willing to talk to me is a good sign right?**

"Well doesn't someone know how to make am an feel awkward while holding someone as pretty as you" **We're already back to our old ways **he silently thinks to himself.

"You wanna go grab a coffee Liv talk about some things that we need to leave behind in the past"

"Sure El but first things first I'm going to the bathroom" he laughs at her strange but subtle way at buying just a little time"


	3. Girl Talk

_So I was going to update this story yesterday but I woke up at 12 so I could get ready to go to Dallas then got home at 7 and went with my mom to bingo and got back at like 10 or 11 something and wrote for a little and in about 2 hours I have to leave to go take my cousin to the airport so she can fly back to California and then possibly go to Wal-mart later on in the day so I'm gunna go head and update tonight and hope that there isn't too many errors in this chapter. I just wanna say thank you to those who reviewed I'll probably say something at the end for y'all._

_In this chapter Olivia talks to Rollins in the bathroom about Elliot… What will she have to say read to find out._

Olivia's pov

"Rollins care to join me in a little walk to the bathroom" She silently begs with her eyes

The blond detective looks up wondering why she wanted her to go to the bathroom with her. If anything it took her by surprise cause from anything she's learned since being here is that Olivia Benson doesn't get close to anyone. "Uh sure give me a second okay"

"Okay I'll wait just let me know when you're ready" With that statement I turned around to see Elliot staring at me silently pleading with me to hurry up. Whatever it is he wants to say is apparently bothering him because the Elliot I know doesn't give me that anxious look ever.

"So Elliot what brings you back to the 1-6"** Maybe just maybe Rollins will hurry up not really looking forward to his answer at all **

"Well um…" Before he could even finish his thoughts Rollins spoke up informing me she was ready.

IN THE BATHROOM

"So why did you ask me to come to the bathroom with you?"

"I um… I'm not exactly ready to hear what Elliot has to say to me I mean I haven't spoke to Stabler in a whole year one whole year it took for him to get his act together it's stupid really I mean I should be able to talk to him right we did work together for 12 years so this really shouldn't be that hard but it is an don't know why" **By this time I bet it just sounds like I'm rambling on **

"OLIVIA slow down okay I can hardly understand you… and by Elliot you mean Elliot Stabler right like as in your old partner Elliot Stabler"

"huh oh yeah um.. that's my old partner and I'm happy he's here I really am but I'm still so hurt and angry with him for leaving the way he did… I know that this job just wasn't for him anymore and if I'm honest with myself I knew that before Jenna ever walked into our lives" I explained to the younger detective.

"Jenna? Who's Jenna? I don't believe I've heard of anyone named Jenna" **Oh crap that's right nobody told the rookies why he left**

"Well um Jenna is… was a young girl who had seen her mother shot and killed in front of her not to long before her mother was suppose to go to court. Jenna didn't take it well and came in the squad with a gun and shot at her mother's killer and killed Sister Peg. It was too much for Elliot and he took off for a while and then the next thing I knew Cragen was telling me he had put his papers in and was done for good. I still get chills down my spine about that day and how everything went down with Jenna. I remember everything around me seemed to be silent as I shared a stare with Stabler before he got up and left never to be seen again or heard from till he sent me and envelope with his Semper fi medal and then nothing again till today."

"oh wow that seems like.. it would be hard to handle… you've been through a lot with this unit haven't you Olivia." Of course that's what she would say in this converstion when I really just need some advice.

"Yeah but it's worth each victim that gets justice is worth it… it may be hard with out Stabler by my side now but I do believe it would have been harder if you and Amaro hadn't come in you know it'd be like ten times harder knowing that I only had Fin, Munch, and Cragen day in and day out"** what I'm I doing why I'm I explaining so much to her this isn't suppose to be happening I was just suppose to come in here and buy some time talking with Rollins before I had to truly face him ugh I gotta get back out there now**

"Rollins I think we should probably get back out there before they send a search party out to find us" That comment actually made me laugh you know I don't often think of who funny it would be having all these rookies coming to find a detective in the bathroom

"Yeah you're probably right lets go you have someone out there you need to catch up with anyways"

IN THE SQUADROOM

"Hey Elliot how about that coffee now"…

_Tbc… How will things go during coffee? What will Elliot tell Olivia? We'll find out next chapter_

_Jane: I'm glad you like it and your wish is my command I'll continue till I get tired of it deal_

_BeautifulBenson4015: I shall keep going J_


	4. Let's Talk

First I'd like to say sorry for how long this took I haven't really had enough time to sit down and do much this past week but this chapter is one of the longer ones so hopefully that'll make it up for you guys 

Jane: here's another one finally got time to uplosd it hope you like it

Amanda4Meloni: He does don't worry just have a few bumps later on

BeautifulBenson4015: I read a couple of your stories in the car the other day loved them hope you enjoy this chapter

LevylovesLAOSVU: Thanks :)

Disclaimer: I do Not have any connection to the making or idea of SVU nope that all goes to DICK WOLF and any characters you recognize aren't mine unless I made them 

Anyways hope this chapter makes up for it taking awhile to be updated and ENJOY

"Hey Elliot how about that coffee now"…

"Yeah lets get going…Bye guys see you later" And with that Benson and Stabler were gone out of the squad room onto the busy streets of Manhattan.

WALKING

"So Elliot I don't believe you got to finish telling me what brought you back down to the 1-6 and into my life" Olivia said finally ready to hear his explanation

"It was actually Kathleen's idea said it might be good for me to get in touch with everyone I cut off… I think she just misses you though" It was true the Stabler kids did miss Olivia but why would someone who is as busy as Olivia want to be bothered by a bunch of young adults in their 20's

"Well than remind me to call her later and get something set up I'd like to see the grown up version of Kathleen sooner rather than later… How are the twins doing?" Olivia asked as she looked into his sparkling blue eyes.

"Well Lizzie is getting ready to go off to college in California to be a little bit Closer to Kathy. And um Dickie... ah Richard is packing up to leave for training.. he finally talked to me you know and I mean he really talked to me about everything from why he asked you if you ever slept with your partner to why he was so upset that I wouldn't let him sign up sooner" Elliot started to tear up about his children and Olivia could tell she need to change the subject and fast before he didn't want to talk for coffee anymore

"El I have a question"

"Ask away Liv" He said as he flashed his signature grin

"Okay um… If Kathleen hadn't told you to come back and reconnect would you have ever came back at all or would you just have left e with absolutely no explanation for the rest of my life like any other person who walked out on me?" A stray tear had managed to escape Olivia's eye as she asked him this. She really didn't want to know his answer if it was no that would probably break her heart even more

"After awhile Liv I would of come back because if I'm even just a little bit honest with you I would be missing you too much and my life would start to seem pointless to me… plus my shrink tol.." Before Elliot could finish Olivia cut in

"So let me get this straight you Elliot Stabler willingly went to a shrink for help without anyone forcing you to and it actually helped you…I'm impressed El"

"Thanks but do you think that you know we could maybe actually go into a coffee shop or a dinner or something cause it's freezing outside." Elliot said through chattering teeth

Olivia laughed at seeing Elliot shivering "Wow time being away from a detective's life made you adapt to the warm air didn't it Stabler"

"Haha very funny Benson and if you must know I spent a lot of times in door in the warmth till today" He stated in a matter of fact tone.

IN THE COFFEE SHOP

"Are we going to order or do you just wanna talk cause I'm not really thirsty or hungry El"

"I suppose we can sit down and talk for a little but eventually I'm going to have to order something so we don't get kicked out okay"

"Yeah that's fine El… So what did you wanna talk to me about" Olivia asked cind of scared of what he would tell her

"Well there's a lot I wanna talk about but just a few things today… One being how truly sorry I am for being a arrogant prick to you most of the time and the big one being why I left in the first place and didn't contact anyone not even my kids for a couple of months."

"El you know we don't have to talk about that today" Olivia thought out loud on accident

"Yes we do Liv… I have to let you know so we can move on and be happier either with each other or not. You have to know Olivia I never, never meant to hurt you I just couldn't stop think about Jenna and… and I was going to come back a couple of weeks after everything had happened I figured you know maybe a couple of weeks will help clear my thoughts of the horrible thing I had done to such a young girl… I mean Jenna she still had her whole life to live even if she had to spend some time in jail for shooting innocent, helpless people, and a killer. If I'm honest I probably didn't come back from the fear I had of people looking at me differently looking at e as if I were a killer a horrible awful creature who should be put in jail for doing something like that. Before I knew it I was having suicidal thoughts… that's when I contacted a shrink it was only because if I was going to die I wanted it to be from either old age or from a bullet on the job with you and I really didn't want my kids to have to deal with the thought of their dad causing his own death because he choose to do it. Most of all Olivia I realized that day in the squad room right before I got up and left the building for good that I was truly in love with you and that I couldn't hold those feelings down anymore. If I couldn't be the one you woke up to and went to bed with then I didn't want to be anything too you so I left and I didn't call or text you back but I did listen to every single voicemail you left and I read every text you sent and I still have them saved to my phone. I want to be alright again and I want my job back but only if you and I stay friends and if we do happen to take it further then I'm willing to wait to see if it'll work out between us because I really do love you Benson." Elliot finished hoping that it wasn't too much for her at once.

"Elliot I I…"

Haha sorry felt like I should give you something to look forward too


	5. It's Complicated and fun

Amanda4Meloni: sorry for being cruel to you but hey maybe this will make up for being so cruel haha. By the way I kind of love your pen name especially the Amanda partJ J

BeautifulBenson4015: You're so demanding J and no problem on your stories they are really good

Naetyler21: here you go J

Edge15684: thank you and I'm glad you like it

Jane: Ah Jane don't let the suspense kill you it's almost over… for now. Glad you love it.

Disclaimer: As much as I would like to say I came up with Svu I didn't no that is for Dick Wolf to claim.

NOW let's go the story started again

"Elliot I I… I don't know what to say I mean I'm happy that you got your life together again but I… oh how do I say this to you El without it coming out hurtful… I'm not really in a good position to start a relationship with you right now I'd like to try it out once I get past what I'm dealing with right now but it's just it's complicated my personal life is actually complicated right now… and it's strange to me" Olivia said not sure what Elliot would think.

"Olivia can I know what is going on in your personal life or is that for another coffee date in the future" Elliot asked

"I have had to deal with Simon returning lately and finding out that I have a niece that was named after to me and then I had a relationship with our ADA that blew up in my face but everything died down and we were talking the other about getting back together or just staying friends. Now if we tried something we could disclose our relationship and avoid losing our jobs. I second guessed myself because of a case recently and I even considered giving up and putting my papers in but then the next case and I knew I couldn't give up on the victims just yet"

"You have a niece… you're kidding right I mean I always figured Simon would like never come back at all I mean it was what 4 or 5 years since you last spoke" Elliot said shocked

"Is that really all you got out of that little speech Stabler not anything with the fact I broke protocol for my own selfish reasons or that I almost quit on of the only things I've know as comfortable"

"Yeah Olivia I heard all that other stuff I just real didn't wanna believe it…and why are you so worried about one little selfish thing you are never selfish and never will be viewed as selfish by anyone got it Liv" Elliot just stared at her till she looked up at him a nodded with a small thank you escaping her lips.

"I'm so terribly sorry but my hearing seams to be bad today did I just here you Olivia Benson tell me thank you" Elliot smirked

"Oh shut up Stabler or I'll make you and I'm pretty sure you don't wanna get beat up by a girl today or would you like me to do that for you" Olivia said causing Elliot to stare at her with his mouth half open. "Oh and El you might wanna get your mouth looked at I'm almost certain it's not suppose to look like that" Olivia teased some more

"Haha very funny Liv… how about we get a coffee and get you back to the precinct I'm pretty sure Amaro wants you back he might think I hurt you or something"

"Nah he'll be fine but I do need to go back to the precinct and finish up some paperwork which will take about an hour and then if you would like you could come over to my house and watch a movie or something and just talk like old times" Olivia said getting up to leave. "El you comin or did you already forget how to use your feet to walk around"

"I'll get you for that last comment Benson but right now I have to walk a beautiful lady back to her desk to do some awful paperwork while I talk to the guys and catch up with them and maybe even get to know your new partner and tell him so things not many people know about you" Elliot said while flashing his big smile at Olivia

"You wouldn't" Olivia said in a scared tone of what he might share

"I do believe we both know I would so come on I've gotta go share some dirt about this detective with a last name of Benson do you care to join"

"Yeah let's go but anything you tell the guys and Rollins that I don't like you will be punished for got it"

Don't hate me but there may be a few major bumps in a few chapters that'll change their relationship and mess some things up but in order to know what gets messed up you'll have to keep on reading


	6. Secret of love

So I realize that I like completely abandoned this story and I'm sorry for that but I had forgot my password and then I had a lot of test in school (mainly Spanish ugh) and I literally had to go back and read what I wrote so I could continue with the story.

Enough of why I didn't update tho.

Olivia's pov

As we walked into the squad room everyone looked up at us as though something bad was about to happen to them. I think they thought that I would have killed Elliot or something like that. I understand why I would do that but then I'd be mad at myself for killing the man I love. I couldn't think about it too much though because Cap informed me and Amaro that we had a case shortly after I walked through the doors.

"Um I guess we'll talk when I get back El" I said not sure if he wanted to.

"Yeah I'll stay here and let everyone else in on your deepest secrets so don't worry about me" He smirked

"Don't you dare do that Stabler or you'll be the one with his balls in a blender" I yelled as Amaro was dragging me out of the room.

Elliot's pov

"She wouldn't really do that to you would she" I heard Fins new partner say

"Trust me when I say she would if it wasn't for this job. So what's your name?" I asked curious as to who it was that was dealing with Fin

"I'm detective Amanda Rollins but you can call me Rollins" She said before walking away to get coffee.

I went and sat in Liv's desk and I noticed that she took down all the pictures of me and replaced them with a little girl the I assumed was the niece she was telling me about. I started thinking about everything we had ever been through and what the future might hold for us. "Hey Elliot how have you been" I heard Fin say snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Um… I guess I've been okay considering the fact that Olivia talked to me when I know I didn't deserve for her to talk to me" I said smiling at the Mention of Olivia.

"SO you were saying you had some dirt on Liv do you care to share with us." Fin said getting everyone's attention.

"Yeah but I'll tell you when she gets back so she knows what I have on her" I said before getting up to go talk to Cragen for a little.

IN CRAGENS OFFICE

"Elliot what can I help you with today?" He asked

"Well I was talking to Liv earlier and we talked about me coming back to the squad soon and well… I was wondering if I could get my old job and my partner back." I asked hoping for the answer I wanted.

"Well you are one of my best detectives so I really don't see why not I'll talk to some people and let you know as soon as I found out" He said with a hint of happiness to his voice.

I sat in his office for about 30 more minutes catching up and just talking until she returned with some ore coffee. I walked back in the squad room and tried something I hadn't before… I hugged her from behind

Olivia's pov

"Jesus Christ Elliot are you trying to make me spill hot coffee on you cause I will"

"Sorry I thought you had set it down already" He said with a smile on his face

"So did you tell any of my secrets" I whispered into his ear so no one else could hear

"No I wanted to wait till you got back so you would know what I have on you Benson" He whispered back and I could tell he was smiling even if I was looking down.

"Well then why don't you share Stabler I wanna know what these secrets are" I said loud enough so that the team would hear

"Okay then Benson I will but I need everyone to gather around" He said and watched as Fin, Amaro, Munch, and Rollins came closer.

"Well…" I heard Munch say waiting for the gossip about me

Elliot's pov

"I know that Benson hates being in the dark, and that if she had her choice she would already be married to me" I said earning a life from everyone

"Why on earth would I ever wanna marry you Stabler" Olivia said with a glare directed towards me

"Because you love me even if you won't tell these smart detectives sitting right in front of us, oh and because I'm the longest relationship you've ever had with a man remember" I said back playing her little game

"And exactly what makes you think I Love YOU El"

"Well let's see you just called me El and today is my first day back and you should be mad at me not joking around, also you said you wanted to try this, us back at the coffee shop about an hour and a half ago." I said as I watched her mouth fall open and her eyes fill with shock. I started walking closer to her and I faced her grab her hand and brought it up to my lips.

"Eliot could you not kiss my hand I mean if your gonna kiss me do it on my lips" She said as I grabbed her waist and turned her around. I kissed her and it wasn't just a peck on the lips no it was a real passionate kiss full of love. We stopped when we heard everyone clear their throats to get our attention.

"Um El do you think we could go to my apartment and talk about this some more" Olivia leaned in and whispered

"Yeah come one I'll drive"

I wouldn't have it any other way" She said with a smirk

I hope you enjoyed it and i promise i will try to update more often from now on


	7. Apartment talk

**I'm so so so sorry that this took so long i'll try not to do that agian**

They walked into Olivia's apartment a little while later. Olivia walked into the kitchen to get some drinks while Elliot went to explore.

"You want a beer El?"She asked

"Uh yeah I mean do you really have to ask me that, you should know I'll usually always take one fro you my love" Elliot replied

"Elliot what did I tell you earlier" Olivia said smiling when she saw his face drop. "oh come on El I'm just messing with you, you know I love you too right?" Olivia laughed as she watched his face light up

"You, you really just told me you love me. HAHA oh my gosh I never thought this would be happening on my first day back."

"Oh well you should have already known you know but saying it feels so much better than keeping it hidden away El. And it's the truth I do love you with everything I have. I love your eyes, your smile, your abs of steal, hmmm I thinks that's it EL." Olivia laughed as she watched him smirk

"Oh really Liv that's all you love about me. You don't love my personality, or my kids, or maybe even my tan." Elliot suggested

"Well yes I do love those things but I also love your backside, clothes, the way you care about me, even how you know almost everything about me there is to know"

"Awe thanks Liv… now it's my turn to explain to you why I love you." Elliot said

"Okay El I'm waiting"

'Well for starters I Love your hair, eyes, nose, smile, personality, the way you connect with people, all your past even if it's bad, the way you talk, your handwriting, your voice, demeanor, last but not least Olivia Benson I love you because even after all the crap you've seen on this job you still have a heart of gold." Elliot said as he walked over to Olivia wrapping her up in a hug, then kissing her repeatedly, but was interrupted by Olivia's phone ringing

"Uh they really pick the best moments to call me don't they El" Olivia said sighing and going to pick up her phone. "Benson….. uh can't Rollins go with him Cap… yes sir I understand that I have a job to do… I know…seriously though why can't Rollins go with Fin, I mean come on they work well together let her go with him this time… yes sir thank you…I…I know Cap it won't happen again… uh huh… will you call me if anything happens? Thank you bye Cap" Olivia said happy she didn't have to go work on a new case for once.

"So I don't have to leave me?"

"Nope I'm free to watch a movie and eat junk food all night… so lets go get some movies and food then head back here and eat the night away"


End file.
